CASA OF THE SABINE NECHES REGION

Week 7 Comfort.

7/27/2021

Comfort – Responding to a hurting person with words, feelings, and touch. To hurt with and for another’s grief or pain. These are two very beneficial characteristics of comfort. Throughout life’s journey we shall experience some form of hurt. The Apostle Paul encourages us to “rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15b) From the time we are born, we experience the expression of comfort. Being comforted is a part of the very fabric and fiber of our being. It’s a part of what they call the attachment cycle. When we are discomforted or uncomfortable, we give off a signal of such, altering those around us that there’s a need that needs to be attended too. Once that need is met and we are comforted, then we give a signal of accomplishment. In order to be able to embrace another person’s hurt to the level of sharing in their hurt, we should become comfortable with being uncomfortable ourselves. Hurt and hurting situations call for comfort. But sharing in that hurt may cause us to become uncomfortable. In our relationships and family dynamic, are we uncomfortable when one of our loved ones are uncomfortable? Do we hurt at seeing them hurt? Are we moved with the compassion to comfort even if it means becoming uncomfortable in their uncomfortable situation? Comfort that is needed or desired may very well come out of a broken place. Yes, we’ve heard hurt people, hurt people. Can a hurt person provide comfort to another hurt player? Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4 NKJV) Responding to a hurting person, especially those of our family is very powerful. From the cradle we’ve been exposed to someone providing comfort to us and for us. Remember the first time we scraped our knee? Hit our baby toe on the coffee table? Our first heartbreak? We had that support group to place some ointment on it in the flavor of comfort. Sharing the hurts of those we love can sometimes be the best medicine. Showing comfort, is showing that we care. Jesus left being comfortable to become uncomfortable, that those who are uncomfortable could find comfort. Have you found comfort? Remember, we can’t give what we don’t have.

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Week 6 Attention.

7/19/2021

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Attention – As it pertains to oneness and wholeness of the family dynamic, we need to ensure that we are applying the correct form of attention to those who need it as well as require it. The military uses attention to gain the focused attention of its crew to share important data. Most of which is on a need to know basis. With some families, our attention takes the posture of attention, the motionless position assumed by a soldier, standing very straight with the arms straight down the sides of the body. This type of attention is not only motionless, but emotionless. I truly would hope that we cultivate “attention” that is conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care toward our family. Taking thought of another with the desire to enter or dwell within their world is that attention that helps to breed oneness. Giving attention should be that of edifying. Giving attention should be presented in a way that is palatable to the one it’s being shown to. This may require that we understand what attention is desired and if we have the ability and capability to be able to supply it. Truth be told, all of us desire attention. Some in large dosages, some small. Some healthy and some not so healthy. For some, bad attention is better than no attention. Nevertheless, to develop oneness in the family, good healthy attention is needed in healthy dosages. Attention is the behavioral and cognitive process of selectively concentrating on a discrete aspect of a family member, whether considered subjective or objective, while ignoring our own perceivable thoughts. Oneness through attention can cause a general interest that leads us to desire to know more about our family members, placing us in a position to provide treatment, care or aid in the event of hurt if needed. A desired goal could be that our attention helps our family members feel wanted. In short, attention should be such that there should be no division or drama in the family, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with them; or if one family member is honored, all the family rejoices with them.

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Week 5 Approval.

7/19/2021

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Approval (Blessing) – We may not always agree with those in our family. As we look to achieve and maintain oneness, we must first start with being able to give approval to ourselves. Do we approve of the direction our life is going? Do we approve of what we have done in the past? Do we approve of approving ourselves? If the answer to these questions is no, then we have work to do. Oneness includes but is not limited to approval. If we are not approving our actions, let's look to do those things which we will approve. Approval gives way to success which gives way to happiness. Think about the process of approval in this light, words cannot be taken back, but they will return to bite or bless, cut or cure, help or hinder. Before we speak remember “Karma” is not a respect of person, she will speak loud to anyone. Hearing approval is very important in human life. It was because of approval and disapproval that the first murder occurred. Cain felt that his offering was just as significant as Abel's. When God did not approve of Cain’s offering. Cain began to feel some type of way that led to him taking his disappointment out on an innocent person and not the one who disapproved. Building up and/or affirming both the fact of and the importance of relationship as it pertains to family is vital and key to oneness. Ephesians 4:29 says “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” This does not mean that we approve of wrong doings, however if celebration of the good things, the accomplishments, the wins with the stamp of approval becomes second nature, disapproval will experience a reduction while becoming more digestible. When was the last time we took the time to affirm our loved ones? When was the last time in a tough spot did we affirm to them that our love is not conditional? Approval can be expressed in many different forms. The key is to express it. The life of approving produces a positive response. It produces healthy self-esteem, boosts self-confidence and helps our loved ones to love themselves. Healthy approval breeds a healthy life. Something all of us desire to have.

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Week 4. Appreciation

7/19/2021

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Appreciation – The expressing of thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort of others. Who does not want to feel appreciated? I want to believe that all of us do. So why is this a need, as it pertains to Oneness? The fact of the matter is, this is one of the most misunderstood feelings that humans have. What am I speaking too? As it pertains to appreciation, some may feel unappreciated while the person being accused of not appreciating, feels that they are showing appreciation. Thus, we have discussions of whether a person does or doesn’t. Let’s see if we can bridge the gap and gain a mutual understanding that will help us to show our loved ones that we appreciate them while helping them to feel they are appreciated. First appreciation is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something by obtaining a full understanding of those qualities, which leads to the expression of admiration, approval, and/or gratitude towards them in a way that is acceptable and palatable for them. I believe that we sometimes miss the expression because we may not be showing our appreciation in ways that others want to receive it. A husband can give his wife flowers as a token of appreciation and most of us may agree that this was a show of appreciation. If his wife prefers chocolates instead of flowers, she may very well not feel appreciated especially if she’s expressed that she loves chocolates. This week let’s look to express praise, thanks and our appreciation in ways that will look to grow the bond in our relationships. If we don’t know what makes our loved ones feel appreciated, let’s have that conversation to inquire what might make our love one feel appreciated. Our love language may not speak theirs. As it pertains to appreciation, our love may need to be bilingual.

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Week 3 Affection

7/19/2021

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Affection, expressing care and closeness through an innocent genuine desire for the wellbeing of another. When people say “I love you” why do we say I love you back? Why is there an expectation for it to be repeated? Have we been taught to say we love without being taught how to truly express love? We should never give the best of ourselves until we know they want the best for us. Affection is not about a physical touch, it’s about a level of care that draws us to want to be with someone. True affection is not expressed through or by the hand, it comes solely from the heart. Affection is not about words, it’s about deeds. Yes, it feels good to hear the words “I love you” but what good is that declaration when there are no deeds to confirm it. Another question I would like to pose, what is true love? Our affections are spawned out of our love. If our view of love is distorted or based on conditions, then our affection will replicate those same characteristics. If someone sees love as yelling, screaming, degrading and being detrimentally physical, they will express love through affections of the same. We don’t need to learn how to love or hate, these two emotions are a part of human nature. What we have to be taught is how to express it correctly. Unfortunately, lessons are being taught by dysfunctional instructors in dysfunctional settings. In expressing affection, what is our motivation and intent? Do we express affection simply because of a want or desire family? Do we express affection for our loved ones out of duty? Or do we express affection towards our loved ones because we appreciate them for being who they are and who we are? Affection has a true motive and that is to have an effect, an expression that makes a difference to produce or influence an emotional response of assurance of the relationship that breeds and brings closeness, safety, stability, and security without the pressure of repayment. Affection is that expression that communicates to our loved ones that we love and respect them and are happy to have them as a part of our lives. The next time we say “I love you” let’s be doers also and not hears only.

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Week 2. Admonition

6/25/2021

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Week 2 of 30 brings us to a trait that all of us need but a few of us want. When we think about this word, it has been given a bad reputation. The truth is that all of us need to be admonished at one time or another. The admonishment I’m referring to is that of constructive guidance in what to avoid. The sound loving counsel that is given to advise or warn us. “Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.” Paul here speaks of how we want to condition ourselves as it pertains to our loved ones. Before we begin to admonish someone, let’s check to see that our heart tank is full of goodness and intellect filled with all knowledge. All knowledge is needed to help make admonishing palatable. It’s not enough for us to know that our loved ones are in need of guidance. The deep question is why? Why do they need this advice? Of course, it can be because of the lack of knowledge, but why don’t they know. Who has not made some crazy decisions? Our admonishing needs to be that of understanding where our loved one may be and give education to help them achieve where they want to be. Admonishing has for the most part been expressed from the position of reprimand, again giving admonishing a bad rep. Reprimand speaks to and from the posture of rebuke. Reprimand in the form of severe or formal reproof can be hard to digest. I understand that some of our loved ones may need it and may not always accept or adhere to sound counsel. However, this week let’s focus our attention to intentionally filling our hearts with goodness and our intellect with all knowledge. That when we speak, we take into account all aspects of the situation and wrap our admonishing with adoration. Let's not give something we would not want ourselves.

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Week 1. Acceptance

6/9/2021

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Week 1) Acceptance – Receiving another person willingly and unconditionally when the other’s behavior has been imperfect. Being willing to continue loving one another in spite of offenses. As we have come to discover, none of us are perfect. Even with the best intentions we make mistakes. Our feelings have been hurt and we’ve hurt some feelings. Yes, we don’t like some of the choices our family members chose to make or the lifestyles they chose to live. Can we accept them to new levels that they feel new levels of love? Now acceptance is a two-way street. We not only have to be willing to accept, but the person has to be willing to be accepted and accept the acceptance. Love doesn’t always sound good, look good, feel good, taste good, or smell good. But doing what’s in a person’s best interest is the objective of true love. This week let’s work on a teaching and receiving our family willingly and unconditionally even when their behavior has been less than perfect.

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The CASA Blog
by Demetrius (De'Mo) Moffett

Week 7 Comfort.

Week 6 Attention.

Week 5 Approval.

Week 4. Appreciation

Week 3 Affection

Week 2. Admonition

Week 1. Acceptance

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The CASA Blog​by Demetrius (De'Mo) Moffett

Week 7 Comfort.

Week 6 Attention.

Week 5 Approval.

Week 4. Appreciation

Week 3 Affection

Week 2. Admonition

Week 1. Acceptance

Author

Archives

Categories

Helpful Links

FINANCIAL REPORTS

Contact Us

The CASA Blog
by Demetrius (De'Mo) Moffett